Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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