no, he came in my armpit
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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