I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
