Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
