Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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