sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
