what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
