apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
