the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Randomize
