I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
