I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
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