im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
i believe in u and ur pee
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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