Say something about gay babies.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
