Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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