K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
