honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
