I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
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