just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
