Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize