I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Randomize
