She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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