# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Randomize
