I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
