Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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