my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
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