i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
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