Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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