....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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