Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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