1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
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