Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
