it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Randomize
