Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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