$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
