First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
