Plan B is the new Plan A
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Randomize
