your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
