its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
