i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
