Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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