But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize