You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
how do flat chested girls get laid?
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I need moral support for this bender
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
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