Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
