Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize