oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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