woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Randomize
