i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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