i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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