I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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