I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
they're like a gay fantastic four
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Randomize
