It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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