It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Randomize
