so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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