I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
