What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
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