Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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