why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Randomize
