I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Randomize
