I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
