what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
