You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
