Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
are you so shy because you have an std?
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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