I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Randomize
