but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Boobs are out for the taking
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
