you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
