no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
