i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
