SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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