There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Randomize
