Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Randomize
