I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
