Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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