I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize