we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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