I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Randomize
