Please don't use social media to get back at me.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
