woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
