I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
