whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
