people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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